Challenges of being an expat

Challenges of being an expat — and how to handle them 

Moving abroad can be exhilarating — new foods, new friends, new routines — but it also brings a long list of emotional, relational and bodily challenges that are easy to underestimate. As a psychologist, coach and integrative body psychotherapist, I see the same themes again and again: culture shock, loneliness, identity stress, chronic overload and sometimes, burnout. This post lays out the common challenges and practical ways to handle them.

Common challenges expats face

1. Culture shock (and its waves)
Even enthusiastic movers meet unexpected values, communication styles and routines. Culture shock is not a single event — it comes in waves: excitement, irritation, sadness, and later sometimes relief or anger.

2. Loneliness and loss of social scaffolding
You lose everyday supports — neighbours, familiar colleagues, the café where the barista knows your order. Building new, deep social ties takes time.

3. Language friction
Not being fully fluent affects daily tasks, work performance and social ease. Small misunderstandings accumulate as stress.

4. Identity and role changes
Being "the foreigner," switching from manager to outsider, or balancing a partner's career vs your own can shake your sense of self.

5. Practical and bureaucratic stress
Visas, banks, healthcare systems, schooling and housing — all require energy and adaptability. Repeated small hassles create chronic low-grade stress.

6. Grief and ambiguous loss
You may grieve what you left behind (friends, family events, rites of passage) while simultaneously celebrating new experiences. That grief is real even if others can't see it.

7. Career pressure or stalled progression
International careers often look glamorous but can involve hidden costs: stalled promotion, different expectations and the pressure to prove yourself.

8. Microaggressions and discrimination
Depending on context, expats may face exclusion, stereotyping or subtle hostility that cumulatively affects wellbeing.

9. Reverse culture shock (on return)
Going home can be unexpectedly hard — friends, institutions and expectations may have changed while you were away.

Practical ways to handle these challenges

Below are short, actionable strategies — psychological, social and somatic — suited to an integrative approach.

Build a "base routine"
Create daily anchors (sleep schedule, movement, morning ritual). Routine stabilizes mood and stress hormones.

Prioritise connection (wide and deep)
Balance casual meetups (language meetups, hobby groups) with at least one deeper connection — a mentor, therapist, close friend or community group.

Language as therapy
Learning the local language helps practically and emotionally. Don't aim for perfection; set specific, achievable milestones (e.g., order in the local language, make one small phone call).

Set realistic expectations
Normalize that adaptation takes months. Track small wins so you notice progress.

Practice body-based regulation
As an integrative body psychotherapist would suggest: breathwork, simple daily movement, grounding exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, somatic tracking of stress signals. The body often signals distress before thoughts do — learn to listen.

Ritualise losses
Create small goodbye or memory rituals for what you left behind (a letter, a photo album, a yearly video call schedule). Rituals help integrate ambivalent feelings.

Boundaries and energy management
Say no to too many social invitations when capacity is low. Protect time for sleep, meals and down-regulation.

Use technology and local supports
Online therapy, expat forums, and local associations can fill gaps — but choose trustworthy services and consider cultural fit.

Plan for "re-entry"
If you'll return home eventually, keep a small bridge (regular check-ins, document changes) to reduce reverse-culture shock.

When at work: negotiate and document
Clarify expectations, ask for feedback frequently, and keep a record of contributions — this reduces the stress of vague performance standards.

Somatic / body-oriented tools that help (short list)

• Daily grounding: feet on the floor, 3 slow diaphragmatic breaths, notice 5 senses.
• Movement breaks: short walks, stretching, or 10-minute dance to reset the nervous system.
• Body scanning: brief check-ins for neck tension, jaw clenching, stomach tightness.
• Professional somatic therapy: EMDR, IBody work, integrative body psychotherapy or sensorimotor psychotherapy may help process migration-related traumas and grief.

When to ask for professional help — and why it matters

Moving countries can trigger or accelerate exhaustion, and prolonged overload can lead to burnout. Burnout isn't just "being tired" — it's persistent exhaustion, cognitive slowing, emotional numbness or irritability, sleep disturbance, somatic symptoms, and decreased function at work or home. Yes — in some situations people can develop severe burnout within a relatively short time frame; for example, sustained high demand plus low support can lead to clinical levels of burnout within six months.

If you notice any of the following, consult a specialist (psychologist, psychiatrist, occupational health physician or an experienced integrative body psychotherapist):

• Constant exhaustion that doesn't improve with rest
• Marked decline in work performance or concentration
• Persistent sleep problems, or waking unrefreshed
• Increased physical complaints (headaches, GI problems, pain) without clear medical cause
• Emotional blunting, cynicism, or sudden irritability toward loved ones
• Thoughts of hopelessness or self-harm

A specialist can assess for burnout, depression, anxiety or trauma, and recommend therapy, pacing strategies, medical checks, or workplace interventions. If you suspect burnout, early professional support increases the odds of recovery.

Recommended books to read (short, practical picks)

• Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds — David C. Pollock & Ruth E. Van Reken
  Great for understanding identity development in people who grow up between cultures — useful for parents and adults alike.
• The Art of Crossing Cultures — Craig Storti
  Practical, readable guidance on the dynamics of cultural adaptation and everyday pitfalls.
• The Body Keeps the Score — Bessel van der Kolk
  Excellent introduction to how stress and trauma get stored in the body and how somatic therapies can help — useful background for anyone considering body-oriented therapy.
• Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle — Emily and Amelia Nagoski
  Practical, research-informed approaches to completing the stress cycle and preventing chronic exhaustion (particularly accessible and action-oriented).
• The Lonely Planet Guide / Culture Shock! series (various authors)
  For country-specific, practical orientation and social norms — handy when you arrive in a new place.

(These are starting points — your therapist or coach can suggest titles tailored to your situation.)

A brief sample plan you can try this week

1. Start a 10-minute morning grounding routine for 7 days.
2. Join one local interest or language group and commit to attending two meetings.
3. Book a single session with a therapist (or tele-therapist) who understands expat issues — you don't need to commit long-term to get helpful orientation.
4. Identify one small ritual to honour what you left behind (photo, letter, playlist).

Final words

Being an expat is a major life transition that mixes opportunity with real psychological and bodily strain. Small, consistent practices (routine, social connection, body awareness) reduce stress and increase resilience — but they're not a substitute for professional help when exhaustion becomes disabling. If you suspect burnout — especially if symptoms are intense or worsening — please consult a specialist promptly. Recovery is possible, and early support makes a big difference.